why-reaching-for-being-ordinary-will-make-you-happier-in-the-long-run

If you take a look at the social medias – Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and what not then your news feed are probably filled with beautiful pictures of how fit people are, how much clothes they have, how good they are at yoga or how they became better persons with positive psychology and 5 steps to a better self. Mine was like that..

Why do I tell you that?

Because It’s time I call the whole thing bullshit. I’m sick of positive psychology. There I said it! I don’t want to help my self being better everyday, I just want to be ordinary.

A danish professor in Psychology, Svend Brinkmann, talked about this a year ago and he inspired me with his thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with positive psychology but it’s gone too far – if you ask me.

One of the quotes I see in various variations on the social medias, is something like: 

Be a better version of yourself, or try your best everyday.

What kind of crap is that? What happens the day I have a crappy day and not able to be a better version of myself? Does that mean that I failed as a person? Because I am normal and had a bad day?

I agree with the thoughts behind. I think it’s great when you are able to reflect about your life and your patterns. Especially the ones who stands in the way of you doing what you like and help yourself to a life that you like. I just think it’s gone to far. Development should be seen over bigger timelines and not only from day to day. It’s the normal days that are counting and obviously the normal days contain work, studies, laundry, cooking, cleaning and paying the bills. All those things are a part of life and some days will just seem grey and dull no matter how great a life you live. Therefore I thinks those quotes make us think that the life we live aren’t good enough and everyday should be filled with action and adventures. Those quotes make us feel like we are failing.

Social media is a number one happiness killer

We see on the social medias how some people devote their life to do something and go all the way with it. I’m for example following some cool yogies and some food profiles and OMG they are doing a great job. I’m seeing different persons devoting their whole life to one thing in my news feed, but it is easily in my mind becoming one person who are cool at yoga, cooks everything from scratch, and is a smart girl and fit. This imaginary person I created becomes a goal that I’m never able reach and will make me bound to fail. When what happened was that I made this imaginary person up from the various profiles I’m following. Which mean I’m trying to reach a goal that no one are able or meant to reach.

Crazy, right? I’m destroying my own happiness with high expectation and goals that no one are able to reach.

I just want to be ordinary.

It’s not popular to be ordinary. It’s popular to have a lot of goals, to runs marathons, sleep to little, get a lot followers and be fit. But I just want to sleep long in the morning and have time to drink my cup of coffee slowly. I just want to have time to play with my cat. Eat chocolate, cuddle up a bit, be with my family, love and have time to do nothing. In others words just be ordinary. Without a certain fat percent or a some kind of superhuman life where there’s no space for just being.

Don’t get me wrong. Sure, we have to work, do our duties, I just want a slow life. I don’t dream of many followers, waking up early in the morning or a lot of money. I’m dreaming of love, space and balance. When some days are busy, others then have to be slow. Some days I eat chocolate and other days I dance. Other days I work a lot and other days I never leave my PJ. Some days I cry and other days I laugh.

It’s called balance and an ordinary life

I made 6 steps to be more ordinary and in my opinion more happyStart to follow funnier profiles that’s making you laugh – it’s taking the pressure of the others profiles.

  1. Take a day where your goal is to do a little a possible. Remember to tell people proudly about it (it was difficult for me)
  2. Find out what gives you flow and do more of that
  3. Start loving the ordinary and normal in your life
  4. Go for a walk in the nature or look out of the window
  5. Cut down on the things you should do or think you have to do.
Being here on earth, treating others and yourself kindly is enough.

love,sandra